Unnatural Disaster

I am evil. That is all.

Oh, god, you guys. Gymnastics has taken its toll on me this week.

If you loved me, you would throw prompts at me to fill. I have another 15 hours of practice, 2 hours of archery, and at least 4 miles of running a day before Wednesday and I need something to take my brain away in my downtime. Prompt me. I BEG you. 

A pairing I know, though, so no Glee or Vampire Diaries or anything. Teen Wolf is good. Anything else you’ve seen me squee over recently. 

PLEASE. I’d do the same for you!

There’s a patch of rough stucco on the wall near his desk that Malcolm must know is there and that is why Olly is up against it for the fourth time this year and he really should stop challenging him—nay, downright egging him on—so close to this general area, but the break room has a boiling hot coffee pot and the loo is a haven, a personal space, a line that not even Olly would cross and he’d given too many bogwashes in grade school to know that he is due some karmic revenge, so for now, the desk it is, but he silently curses shoddy government-funded construction (and really, people, trowels are less than ten quid at any corner shop) and that red welt on his back isn’t getting any smaller or less red and Malcolm’s wearing a red and gold striped tie today and his pale Scottish cheeks are starting to match it, and the welt, even more irritated from a needlelike point on the stucco that should have worn down after repeated assaults is quite possibly bleeding all over his new shirt and as Olly watches the vein on Malcolm’s forehead grow and threaten more and more to just go ahead and pop out his skin, he can’t help but notice the similarities to his own situation in his trousers.

#229 words #One Sentence #Fuck, Yeah, English Degree #No, wait, Fuck OFF, English Degree #Caffeine is a hell of a drug

I’m just waiting for the damned cable guy to come for his twice monthly look see into why the cable isn’t working now.

Kickin’ it old school: Psych

What Happens in Freedom, Stays in Freedom by scribblinlenore. Hilarious and hot and hot and hot and hilarious. Shawn/Lassie

Promiscuous by Rispacooper. Shawn/Adam Hornstock from waaaaaay back in the 1st season. I want to kiss this fic right on its beautiful face.

Occupational Hazards by Regann Will give you a wallsex kink if you don’t already have one. This fic is on FIRE with hot.

-My Sharona by senor_coconut_1 and rispacooper. This is COMPLETE crack that plays off every fic cliche in the book, but there’s sexxin’. Shawn/Lassie

-Because I Have Spent My Day Watching Psych by basingstoke. No sexxin’ happens onscreen, but this is a hilarious exchange between Shawn and Gus about Shawn’s new thing with Lassie.

Eureka (I’ll never let go, Nathan Stark)

Science Made Them Do It by Auntie_Climatic. There are very few shows that can get away with the old Science Made Us Do It excuse and Eureka is definitely at the top of the list. Jack/Nathan. Hot and hilarious.

Stuck On You by Serene_Quill. One of Fargo’s inventions goes awry and Jack and Nathan are stuck together. Also VERY HOT.

Sherlock

Anderson Heroically Sacrifices Himself for the Team. YE GODS. This is hilarious.

Impropriety Be Damned by ptelefone. Written for the prompt “Having sex on the floor of John’s room while Mrs. Hudson and Mycroft are downstairs.” DYING of the hotness of this fic.

Oh, But You’re An Explosion—by mardia “The thing that’s confusing John is the look on Sherlock’s face—it’s the expression John’s privately taken to calling his ‘detecting face’, but it’s been a while since Sherlock’s turned it on him.” (tom hiddleston oh yes.gif) this is fucking hot

from the kink_meme-someone wanted Sherlock arranging it so Sarah walks in on John and Sherlock on the floor. And since sarah is the spitting image of my hack bitch cuntrag sister, I think it’s not only hot, but brilliant.

Undercurrents by Entangled_now I’ve just come to accept that tangles can write about just about anything and turn it into an instant kink. This is no exception.

Pickpocket Sexting by tatles—It’s kind of Sherlock/Anthea, but more Mycroft/Anthea and it’s 100% hot

Mayhem (allstate commercials)—Come on. You know those commercials are hot

In Good Hands by havent_got_a_clue Turning one of his early catchphrases (Mayhem is coming) on its head. Sexy ass motherfucker that he is.

Criminal Minds (I warn you, I am a Hotch/Reid girl all the way)

Triggers and Ties by kuriadalmatia Multi-part and beautiful

Dirty Talk by recrudescence—Hotch has a dirty mouth!

Blindly Snap the Broken Beats by havent_got_a_clue and rispacooper is there anything better than a teasing, cocky Reid and a Hotch in fear of losing control?

 Torchwood

Make of it What You Will by Mydeira Everything ever tells me that I should HATE Gwen and Owen, but holymammajamma, the chemistry between those two was amazing and this fic just sets it on FIRE.

The Rules of Torchwood 3 by Sam_storyteller and ak_alterego HILARIOUS. I love this so much.

 The Thick Of It—all pairings are Malcolm/Jamie unless stated otherwise

Commute by nomness Holy BALLS. I love it when Jamie takes control

Priest!fic by serriadh more of Jamie taking control…this time with his big blue eyes

Two’s Company by itchy_stitches Malcolm/Jamie/Ollie and it’s beautiful and heartbreaking and sexy

A Fucking Christmas Carol by havent_got_a_clue  No pairing, but Malc as Scrooge and Jamie in a surprising role in a comedic take on the old classic

I’ll Take Manhattan by honeyfitz absolute perfection. Gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS.

Thor/Iron Man/Captain America/general Avengers

Of Mischief and Misbegotten Moments Loki/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark. IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT MY PANTS ON FIRE FROM THIS FIC?!!

Don’t Think About Elephants by hatefloats Loki/Thor. Nothing much. Just an insanely hot blowjob. INSANELYHOTBLOWJOB.

X-Men First Class (It’s so new that most of you are actively following the comms, but I want to post at least one)

Wisteria Erik/Charles and beautiful

And I’ll end it old school—Heroes

Visitations by entangled_now Peter/Claude/Bennett. UHSDKFSKDNFNDhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmggggggggggg.

#waiting for Comcast is a bitch #even more so when Comcast breaks twice a month without fail #and they are always late for the appointments #on the upside, I haven’t had to pay a full bill since January. #But I’d really just like to watch White Collar now.