When you were born 5 years ago,
your mom and dad were high.
They named you “heaven” backwards
and it makes me want to cry.
I want to say I’m sorry,
for you will never be
a CEO or president,
named so stupidly.
They tried to be creative
and shun the status quo.
And now the name will haunt you
wherever you may go.
As your teacher, I can’t do much
to help your sorry state.
But know that you can change it
before it gets too late.
For now I’ll mark you present
with Braeydynn, Jhett, and Graeyse.
And weep into my drink at night
so I can look you in the face.
When it comes to naming children,
please stop before you do.
It’s their lives that you’re screwing.
Take time to think it through.
Just posting my entire portfolio to ease my anxiety of pushing the button to turn it in
The Hipster’s Lament
You think you’re so damned trendy-
skinny jeans and plaid.
Trucker hats and vinyl,
oh, aren’t you just so RAD?
Well, world, I gotta tell ya,
I did all that cool stuff first.
Gotye and Absinthe,
now they are the worst.
Everything I’m into
you take it as your own.
You sell it at Hot Topic
and that I can’t condone.
You’ve stolen all the things I love
and made them so mainstream.
I have nothing cool to live for
and it makes me want to scream.
There is nothing left to eat or drink
or wear or watch or hear.
You’ve ruined everything I love-
for that I shed a tear.
I’d kill myself to end this pain.
It’s not as easy at it seems.
There are more folks dead than living.
It would make ME too mainstream.
MY MATH FINAL IS OOOOOOOVVVVAAAAHHHH
I got a 102%
with 650 points needed for a perfect A, I should finish out at 662 points!
I AM A MATH GENIUS. AS LONG AS THIS IS THE HARDEST MATH I WILL EVER TAKE.